Sunday, May 16, 2010

My most likely reason to become Orthodox is . . .

. . . cell phones in synagogue on Sabbath.

Yes, it's a problem on weekdays, too--BZ and I discussed that in the comments to this post:
Blogger BZ said...

The chief drawback is the relative lack of shared observance. I hate it when people's cell phones ring in shul on Shabbat!There are reasons beyond "observance" that cell phones ringing in shul are inappropriate. Would it be ok if their cell phones were ringing during weekday minyan?

Wed Apr 22, 10:20:00 PM 2009
[Interjection between consecutive comments: One of the more clueless members of our congregation was about to answer a cell phone while on the bima during the Torah service until we yelled at him.]
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

No, now that you mention it--I hate that, too, since a ringing cell phone distracts from the sanctity of a service. But on Shabbat or Yom Tov, when one isn't even supposed to be using a phone at all (barring a life-threatening emergency), a ringing cell phone is even worse. One day of the week, we should be free of the incessant demands of never-out-of-reach modern communication technology.

Wed Apr 22, 10:36:00 PM 200

In my former synagogue, there was a pay phone on the floor above the social hall. Anyone who absolutely insisted on making a phone call on Shabbat/Sabbath could at least be discrete about it. In my current favorite egalitarian synagogue, there seems to be a policy that no phone calls are permitted within the building on Sabbath or Chaggim (holidays), resulting in the rather distressing phenomenon of people standing on the sidewalk in a tallit while talking on a cell phone on Shabbat. Honestly, I don't know which is worse, offending the congregants or offending a good chunk of the neighbors. (In both cases, there's an Orthodox synagogue on the next block, making it quite likely that an outdoor offender would be caught in the act by some local frum folk.)

Obviously, I'm the queen of hypocrites. I benefit from the fact that many non-Orthodox Jews have a very lax attitude toward Jewish observance, yet I'm upset, or sometimes even offended, by that same lax attitude.

I wish we non-Orthodox Jews would take our observance a bit more seriously. It would be nice to see a full house in synagogue on a weekday holiday morning (even if some of the people in attendance went to work afterward--sigh), instead of having to pray that we got a minyan. (Our all-time low--thus far--was 13 people). It would be nice for my husband and me not to be the only people eating in the synagogue's sukkah on Erev Shabbat Sukkot/the Sabbath Eve during Sukkot (when the kosher restaurants in whose sukkot we eat are closed). It would be nice for us to give out roughly 20 mishloach manot packages and get more than two in return, rather than having our synagogue's seniors regard the giving of mishloach manot as something that they remembered from childhood but that didn't applied to them. (I don't think we've ever gotten more than six mishloach manot packages at this synagogue). It would be nice if some of the same folks who object to women having aliyot in our local synagogue wouldn't call us on Shabbat and leave messages on our answering machine. It would be nice if everyone who showed up for seudah shlishit between Minchah (Afternoon Service) and Arvit/Maariv (Evening Service) also showed up in time for Minchah.

Okay, shutting up now.

posted by Shira Salamone at 10:18 AM

10 Comments:

Anonymous Too OId to Jewschool Steve said...

I'm not sure this is as much an ortho vs. non-ortho problem, as it is a culture problem, in general. Most of your complaints are a result of a complete lack of sensitivity on the part of your fellow congregants, coupled with a substantial amount of self-centeredness. As a result, these folks simply don't realize what a high level of disrespect they are showing the community, and the institution itself, regardless of their own level of observance or lack thereof. This is a topic periodically addressed from the bima, usually by the rabbi, but it must be expressed constructively, as opposed to chiding. From what you've told of your rabbi in the past, this seems unlikely in your shul.
Your complaints are right up there with one of my own -- when I see jewish organizations hosting events involving food in non-kosher locations. I'm aware off several chapters of hadassah in my community that do this routinely. As a result, it automatically excludes a portion of people who might otherwise join and, perhaps worse, misses an opportunity to support the kosher establishments in our community, of which there are several.

Sun May 16, 11:48:00 AM 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What possibly reason would a Conservative synangogue have for not having an outright ban on cell phones in shul on Shabbat?

Sun May 16, 02:58:00 PM 2010  
Blogger rivkayael said...

Actually, some of them do...these shuls that I am thinking about also have a strict kashrut policy. I don't think shul policy is uniform across the Conservative movement.

Sun May 16, 06:36:00 PM 2010  
Blogger The Reform Baal Teshuvah said...

A Co-worker who attends a RWMO shul told me a few years ago the story of the fellow congregant whose cell phone rang.

On Yom Kippur.

With "Jingle Bells" as the ringtone.

The take-away - in exchange for surrendering the right to lein Torah, lay tefillin, lead services, etc. you will not gain the peace you seek.

Sun May 16, 07:18:00 PM 2010  
Blogger Thryn said...

At my synagogue, which is pretty progressive and has its own prayerbook drawn up by the rabbi with input from the community, there is actually a prayer (in Hebrew!) regarding turning off cell phones and other irritating electronic devices. I wish we read it more often, since I rather like it (something about paparazzim) but more often we just have a gentle reminder about making sure things are turned off. So far there hasn't been a problem when I've been there (only a few months, on and off).

Sun May 16, 08:06:00 PM 2010  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Will respond when awake--just spent most of the day on my feet selling pastries (imported from the nearest kosher bakery) at the shul's street fair (see the next 2 quick posts) & am falling off said feet. Goodnight, all. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sun May 16, 08:16:00 PM 2010  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

"Most of your complaints are a result of a complete lack of sensitivity on the part of your fellow congregants, coupled with a substantial amount of self-centeredness." True, TOTJ Steve. But, while some folks may realize the level of disrespect they're showing, and at least have the courtesy to leave the room, others just don't care, and no amount of asking them why there's a cell phone visible in their pocket makes any difference.

" . . . it must be expressed constructively, as opposed to chiding." I'm sorry to say that I'm not much better at this than my rabbi is. Any suggestions?

Re kashrut violations by Jewish organizations, a former rabbi of ours refused to participate in our local Jewish War Veterans chapter because it often held informal get-togethers in local non-kosher restaurants. He was right.

"What possibly reason would a Conservative synangogue have for not having an outright ban on cell phones in shul on Shabbat?" This assumes that such a ban would be enforceable. Seriously, our shul shul is already dying--should we turn away members who show up at services on Shabbat and Chaggim with cell phones? This is a serious dilemma.

"I don't think shul policy is uniform across the Conservative movement." RivkaYael, a truer word was never spoken, for better and/or for worse (l'hakel u'l-hachamir), since your point extends equally to the question of whether or not women may or may not be counted in a minyan, have an aliyah, etc.

"The take-away - in exchange for surrendering the right to lein Torah, lay tefillin, lead services, etc. you will not gain the peace you seek." Reform BT, do you think this sort of behavior is as common and/or accepted in the Orthodox world as in the non-Orthodox one? That would be pretty sad.

"At my synagogue . . . there is actually a prayer (in Hebrew!) regarding turning off cell phones and other irritating electronic devices." Now I've heard everything, but that's not a bad idea, Thryn.

Mon May 17, 11:10:00 AM 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Reform BT, do you think this sort of behavior is as common and/or accepted in the Orthodox world as in the non-Orthodox one? That would be pretty sad."
In the O world, no one would bring a cell phone on Shabbat or Yom Tov unless they were a doctor, a husband with wife who was expecting or some sort of emergency responder. In these cases, if they got a call they would always leave the sanctuary to take it.
On weekdays, sometimes people forget to turn their cell phones off. In these cases, if someone calls during davening they either hit the ignore button, turn it off, or if they feel it is important enough, leave the sanctuary to take the call.

Mon May 17, 03:15:00 PM 2010  
Anonymous Miami Al said...

Anon,

That is true in the Orthodox World EXCEPT on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. The fact is, we all get two-time-a-year Jews. So while the normal Shomer Shabbat crowd wouldn't do so, and the traditional "drive to near the Shul and walk over crowd" would leave the cel phone in the car, plenty of people that just go to the local Shul for High Holidays would do it.

At our neighborhood Orthodox Shul in Boston, on the high holidays, I saw people outside on cel phones, outside taking a cigarette break (on YK, this is permissible on RH if the flame is transferred), etc.

When one gets a Kiruv family for a Bar Mitzvah, you'll sometimes see either parent making a phone call to make arrangements for the reception at the non-Kosher restaurant that they are going to after wards.

So does it happen in the Orthodox world, absolutely. Is it a weekly occurrence, absolutely not.

Interestingly, those carrying a cel phone (Doctors, those with an emergency situation, etc.) DO NOT hide their cel phones. Every single one, if on call, has a accessory pouch on the outside of their clothing. Nobody would think that they are secretly carrying a cell phone if it goes off, it's public and open that they are on call and able/willing to take a call.

Mon May 17, 05:17:00 PM 2010  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

"The fact is, we all get two-time-a-year Jews." Ah, yes, that accounts for a lot of "interesting" situations. In some cases, people are willfully violating the rules (as when yours truly takes the subway to synagogue on Shabbat), but in others, it may simply be a case of "sheh-eino yodeia lish'ol," someone who has so little knowledge that they wouldn't even know that there was a question to be asked. We once had a kid playing a hand-held video game in the back of the sanctuary on Yom Kippur. I'm sure the parents thought they were doing the congregation a great favor by keeping the child quiet.

Mon May 17, 05:47:00 PM 2010  

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